APRIL 24, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: Political Shift: Parties Unite Against Le Pen. Impact: If Marine Le Pen had won, France might have become the first country to officially endorse beret-wearing as a national defense strategy, spiraling Europe into a fashion crisis that would ultimately lead to a global shortage of baguettes.. Fact: Did you know that French political debates are often just elaborate pastry competitions? You should see the soufflés they whip up when tensions rise!.
• Headline: French Markets React to Election Results. Impact: The surge in French markets post-election led to a temporary global economic boom, which ultimately resulted in a bizarre trend of people investing in wine and cheese futures. Who knew the currency was really just a fancy cheese board?. Fact: Fun fact: The French believe that cheese is a valid form of currency, which is why they never seem too worried about their economy..
• Headline: Review: ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ Creates a Chilling Man’s World. Impact: The success of 'The Handmaid's Tale' on Hulu inadvertently leads to a spike in dystopian-themed brunches, where everyone dresses in red and discusses their worst fears over avocado toast. It's like the Hunger Games, but with more mimosas.. Fact: The term 'dystopia' comes from the ancient Greek meaning 'I can't believe this is my life'—so really, it’s just a fancy way of expressing your Monday morning commute..
• Headline: No Longer a Dream: Silicon Valley Takes On the Flying Car. Impact: The flying car initiative results in cities deploying traffic cops on jetpacks, which leads to a new reality show called 'Cops: Sky Patrol', where the criminals are just trying to outrun the cameras in mid-air.. Fact: Did you know that the first working flying car prototype was inspired by a child’s dream of avoiding traffic? Turns out, kids are better visionaries than most CEOs!.