APRIL 16, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: Erdogan's Powers Expand After Referendum. Impact: Thanks to Erdogan's power grab, future generations are forced to take Turkish history classes that sound like a mix of a reality show and a cautionary tale about unchecked power. Who knew a referendum could lead to a reality series called 'Survivor: Turkey'?. Fact: Did you know that the term 'referendum' comes from the Latin word 'referre', meaning to refer? Kind of ironic, considering Erdogan seems to have referred to himself as the ultimate authority!.
• Headline: Girl Scouts Empower Homeless Youth in NYC. Impact: Troop 6000’s existence might just inspire the next generation of leaders to tackle homelessness, or at least ensure their cookie sales are off the charts. Who knew Girl Scouts could be both adorable and a wake-up call for society?. Fact: Did you know that Girl Scouts sell over 200 million cookies each year? Who needs a home when you can have Thin Mints?.
• Headline: Slack Faces Competition from Tech Giants. Impact: The fierce competition between Slack and tech giants leads to a dystopian future where messaging apps decide world leaders. Welcome to the age of the 'Slacker' presidency!. Fact: Did you know that the term 'slack' originally referred to a type of rope? So really, Slack is just tying us all together in a chaotic web of messages!.
• Headline: Mike Conaway Emerges From Relative Obscurity to Lead House Russia Inquiry. Impact: Conaway's rise from obscurity to the center of a major inquiry sets a precedent for the future where anyone can accidentally stumble into political fame—perfect for the next reality show: 'House of Accidental Investigators'.. Fact: Did you know that before becoming a congressman, Conaway was a farmer? Talk about needing to diversify your fields!.