APRIL 8, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: O'Reilly's Book Surges Amid Controversy. Impact: Little did we know, Bill O'Reilly's book would inspire countless future self-help authors who would also fail miserably at following their own advice. Thanks, Bill, for setting the bar at 'hypocritical'.. Fact: Did you know that in an alternative universe, O'Reilly actually followed his own advice and became a life coach? Yeah, that universe is way less entertaining..
• Headline: Brook Lopez and the Brooklyn Nets Legacy. Impact: Brook Lopez's pursuit of a franchise record created a ripple effect that led to the creation of a Brooklyn-based reality show about legacy-building, proving once again that anyone can be famous for doing absolutely nothing.. Fact: Did you know that Lopez once tried to start a career as a magician? His best trick was making interest in the Nets disappear..
• Headline: U.S. Strikes to Deter Syrian Gas Attacks. Impact: The U.S. strike against gas attacks led to a series of international discussions that ultimately resulted in a new line of greeting cards: 'Sorry for the Poison Gas, Let’s Be Friends'.. Fact: Did you know that the Pentagon once considered a 'gas-free' slogan for their campaign, but it was scrapped because it sounded too much like a cologne?.
• Headline: When Solar Panels Became Job Killers. Impact: This policy change in China sparked a global trend where solar panels became synonymous with 'job killer', leading to an underground movement of solar panel enthusiasts secretly plotting their comeback.. Fact: Fun fact: 'Solar panels' was actually a popular name for a punk band in the early 2000s. They broke up because they couldn't find a venue that didn't serve drinks in plastic cups..
• Headline: Men Bet She Would Fail; Now She Runs a $26 Billion Fund. Impact: Dawn Fitzpatrick's rise to managing a $26 billion fund opened the floodgates for future fund managers, which eventually led to the now-popular sport of 'Fund Management Olympics', where competitors juggle finances and egos.. Fact: Did you know Fitzpatrick once thought about managing a cat sanctuary? Turns out, they don’t have as many billionaires to impress..