APRIL 7, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: Activists Leverage Social Media Against Advertisers. Impact: This event sparked an uprising where advertisers became the new royalty, and brands scrambled to prove their 'wokeness' by putting rainbows on everything. Eventually, a new social media platform emerged solely for brand apologies.. Fact: Remember when we used to just complain to our friends instead of broadcasting our outrage to the world? Ah, simpler times, like when dinosaurs roamed the earth and social media was just a twinkle in the eye of an over-caffeinated programmer..
• Headline: Bannon vs. Kushner: Power Struggle Unfolds. Impact: The epic showdown between Bannon and Kushner led to the creation of an underground league of political strategists who began charging exorbitant fees for 'meme warfare' training. The winner? A generation of memes that still haunt us.. Fact: This is the kind of family drama that makes soap operas look like children's bedtime stories. Who knew the White House could double as a reality show set?.
• Headline: Review: In ‘War Paint,’ Sing a Song of Face Creams. Impact: The musical's success caused a beauty boom, prompting a rise in bizarre skincare routines that included everything from snail mucin to 24-karat gold facials. Beauty influencers claimed it was all 'self-care', while the rest of us just rolled our eyes.. Fact: In the grand scheme of things, humans have been obsessing over beauty for centuries. Cleopatra was probably rolling her eyes at us from beyond the grave, wondering how we still haven't figured out the whole 'aging gracefully' thing..
• Headline: Making a Living With Airbnb. Impact: This shift in the housing market led to a sudden influx of quirky rental options, including treehouses and yurts, turning neighborhoods into a bizarre tourism playground where the only constant was overpriced avocado toast.. Fact: If only our ancestors had known that the key to financial freedom was just renting out a spare room to strangers for a night. They really missed out on their chance to become 'Airbnb moguls' instead of farming potatoes..