APRIL 3, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: South Carolina's Historic Women's Basketball Triumph. Impact: In a world where South Carolina's victory sparks a wave of women-led sports programs, the butterfly effect results in the first female president being a former basketball player advocating for gender equality. Who knew a game could change the world?. Fact: Dawn Staley might just be the most influential person since sliced bread. I mean, who knew winning a basketball title could make history in more ways than one?.
• Headline: Surge in Political Work Amid Cash Influx. Impact: The flood of cash into Washington leads to an era where politicians start their own investment firms, turning Congress into a Wall Street-like circus. Next thing you know, the Senate is trading stocks on the floor instead of debating.. Fact: Turns out, 'draining the swamp' just meant filling it with goldfish instead of alligators. Who needs integrity when you have money?.
• Headline: The Play That Goes Wrong Review. Impact: As audiences flock to enjoy the chaos of 'The Play That Goes Wrong', theatrical productions become the preferred form of political commentary, leading to a Broadway revolution that replaces politicians with actors. Welcome to the era of 'The Musical Congress'!. Fact: If only real life had a director to yell 'Cut!' when things get too ridiculous. But hey, at least the play's messiness is entertaining!.
• Headline: Lexi Thompson Loses L.P.G.A. Major After Surprise Four-Stroke Penalty. Impact: Lexi Thompson's penalty not only reshapes the rules of golf but also spurns a new reality show where golf fans can call in penalties. This leads to a disastrous yet hilarious series of events where every sport has its own version of 'Viewer's Choice Penalty'.. Fact: Who knew that a casual TV viewer could have more influence in golf than the players themselves? Next up: 'America's Next Top Referee'!.