APRIL 1, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: Historic U.S.-Canada Sports Rivalry. Impact: Had the U.S. lost, we might have been forced to adopt a Canadian-style national sport—like, I don't know, ice fishing or apologizing too much. Clearly, the fate of American swagger hung in the balance.. Fact: Did you know that the U.S. and Canada have a longstanding rivalry in hockey? Or as I like to call it, a 'friendly feud' where no one actually gets hurt—except for the pride, of course..
• Headline: North Carolina's Cheating Scandal Uncovered. Impact: North Carolina's academic scandal set a precedent for colleges everywhere to consider cheating as a legitimate strategy. Thanks to that, students today are majoring in 'Creative Excuses' and 'Optimized Procrastination.'. Fact: Did you know that North Carolina’s basketball team was so good, they literally wrote the book on 'How to Get Away with Cheating'? Well, at least they should have..
• Headline: President’s Trade Gap and Manufacturing Revival. Impact: The president's trade gap was like a black hole for American manufacturing; it sucked in jobs and spat out promises. Future presidents took note, ensuring that trade promises became the new political currency—except they were always 'out of stock.'. Fact: Did you know that political promises are a lot like diet plans? Everyone talks about them, but no one really follows through. Shocking, right?.
• Headline: Review: A Mesmerizing ‘Hairy Ape’ Brings Existentialism to Park Avenue. Impact: The success of 'Hairy Ape' on Park Avenue solidified the connection between existential dread and high society. Fast forward to today, and we all wonder if the only way to cope with modern life is to act in a play about life’s absurdity—while sipping overpriced cocktails.. Fact: Did you know that existentialism can be performed on stage? Who knew that a bunch of deep thinkers could also moonlight as actors, pondering the meaning of life while wearing fancy costumes?.
• Headline: Foreigners Have Long Mined Indonesia, but Now There’s an Outcry. Impact: The protests against Freeport-McMoRan were the catalyst for a global movement towards environmental awareness. Who knew that mining for gold could also lead to digging up the conscience of the world?. Fact: Did you know that Indonesia is home to some of the world's largest reserves of copper and gold? But apparently, that also means they have some of the loudest protests when it comes to foreign exploitation. Talk about a double-edged sword!.