MARCH 19, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: G.O.P. Health Care Challenges in the Midwest. Impact: This precarious balancing act led to a nationwide trend of politicians attempting to juggle health care policies like hot potatoes, resulting in a series of unfortunate memes featuring clowns juggling. Ultimately, it created a societal expectation that politicians should perform circus tricks instead of actually governing.. Fact: The only thing tighter than the GOP's health care rope is your waistband after a midwestern buffet..
• Headline: The Subconscious Decision: Spending Choices. Impact: This moment sparked a global obsession with cost-benefit analyses, leading to the invention of the 'What Would I Buy Instead?' app, which ironically made people spend even more money on pointless items while pondering if they should invest in avocados instead.. Fact: People have been weighing the value of their purchases since the dawn of time, but only recently did we learn that 'needs' often take a backseat to 'latest smartphone models.'.
• Headline: Remembering Jimmy Breslin, Iconic Columnist. Impact: Breslin’s death sent shockwaves through the journalism world, inspiring a generation of reporters to pick up their pens and attempt to write like him, leading to a brief resurgence of good writing before social media devolved everything into a cacophony of tweets and cat videos.. Fact: Breslin's writing was so influential that it’s said even the paper he wrote on wept at his passing..