MARCH 9, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: Fox Settles Assault Claims for $2.5 Million. Impact: Tamara Holder's settlement sent shockwaves through the media industry, prompting every company to reconsider their HR policies. As a result, the phrase 'workplace harassment' became the new buzzword, leading to an unexpected boom in self-help books and awkward HR training sessions.. Fact: Did you know that if you put all the money spent on settlements for harassment claims in a row, it would stretch from the Fox headquarters to the nearest therapy center? Just kidding, but it does make you wonder about corporate priorities..
• Headline: Uber's Greyball Under Scrutiny. Impact: Uber's attempts to prevent the use of Greyball to evade regulators only led to the creation of more creative ways for tech companies to dodge the law. One day, we'll have a tech version of 'Whack-a-Mole' but with lawyers and app developers.. Fact: Did you know that Greyball is not just the name of Uber's tool but also what you might call all the excuses they come up with for not paying their drivers fairly?.
• Headline: Navigating Economic Policy Amid Political Tension. Impact: Mario Draghi's economic decisions affected not just Europe but also the price of your morning coffee. Who knew that easing stimulus measures could lead to a global spike in caffeine dependency?. Fact: Did you know that central banking is the only job where you can make a horrific decision and still keep your job, as long as you look serious in meetings?.
• Headline: Review: ‘Kong: Skull Island’ Crosses a 1933 Classic With ‘Apocalypse Now’. Impact: The cinematic mash-up of King Kong and Apocalypse Now inadvertently inspired a new genre of films that blend classic monsters with existential crises, leading to a series of sequels where Godzilla contemplates his life choices.. Fact: Did you know that King Kong is actually a metaphor for our collective fear of commitment? Just look how he keeps throwing the ladies off the Empire State Building!.
• Headline: The Rise, Then Shame, of Baylor Nation. Impact: The Baylor scandal became the cautionary tale for universities everywhere, leading to a dramatic uptick in self-monitoring and a sudden overabundance of 'We Take Sexual Assault Seriously' posters, which ironically are often ignored.. Fact: Did you know that Baylor's football team should probably be renamed to the 'Baylor Distraction Squad' given how they managed to sidestep serious issues for years while chasing touchdowns?.