FEBRUARY 28, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: Trump Acknowledges Complexity of Health Care Reform. Impact: If Trump had magically grasped the complexities of healthcare reform, we might have seen a universe where unicorns delivered health insurance and everyone got free kale smoothies. Alas, here we are, spiraling into legislative chaos instead.. Fact: Did you know that 'unbelievably complex' is code for 'I have no idea what I'm doing'?.
• Headline: De Blasio's Homeless Shelter Expansion Proposal. Impact: The decision to open 90 new homeless shelters might have led to a future where New York City becomes the ultimate refuge, attracting all the lost souls from across the galaxy. But, of course, in reality, it just led to a lot of heated city council meetings.. Fact: Fun fact: Building shelters is a lot easier than solving the actual problem! Who knew?.
• Headline: Exploring Life and Death in ‘Wakey, Wakey’. Impact: The existential themes in 'Wakey, Wakey' could have sparked a worldwide movement for deeper theatrical introspection, but instead, most people just left the theater pondering what to eat for dinner.. Fact: Beckett once said, 'Nothing is funnier than unhappiness.' So, I guess this play was a real knee-slapper!.
• Headline: Danish Companies Seek to Hire, but Everyone’s Already Working. Impact: The irony of companies wanting to hire while everyone is already working might have led to a black market for workers, where skilled laborers were traded like Pokémon cards. But, somehow, it didn't quite turn out that way.. Fact: Did you know that in Denmark, they have a saying: 'Work hard, play hard, but mostly just work hard and complain about how hard it is to find help'?.
• Headline: ‘They Told Us They Were Here to Help Us.’ Then Came Slaughter.. Impact: This tragic event could have prompted an international outcry that led to a superhero-like intervention in Nigeria, but instead, it served as a painful reminder of how quickly help can turn into horror.. Fact: It's a cruel twist of fate that those who claim to help often carry the heaviest weapons. History just loves irony, doesn't it?.