FEBRUARY 24, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: The Complexity of Celebrity Activism. Impact: Shia LaBeouf's activism led to a chain reaction where every celebrity thought they could change the world with a tweet, resulting in the world being run by Insta-famous cat influencers by 2030. You're welcome.. Fact: Did you know that 'LaBeouf' is actually French for 'I’m totally serious about my acting career?'.
• Headline: Bannon Addresses Conservative Fears on Trump. Impact: Bannon's reassuring words about Trump were like handing a toddler a chainsaw and saying, 'Just don't hurt yourself.' This fortified the rise of political memes, which ultimately led to the great Meme Wars of 2025.. Fact: Did you know that 'deconstruction of the administrative state' is just a fancy way of saying, 'Let’s throw a bunch of papers in the air and see what sticks?'.
• Headline: Review: ‘Sunday in the Park With George,’ a Living Painting to Make You See. Impact: The revival of 'Sunday in the Park With George' inspired countless hipsters to start painting in parks, leading to a rise in local wildlife getting confused about their role in the art world. It's a real mess.. Fact: Did you know that Jake Gyllenhaal once tried to paint a self-portrait but accidentally created a masterpiece that was mistaken for modern art? It sold for a million bucks!.
• Headline: In a Stand-Up Act, Leslie Jones Finds the Humor in Being Hacked. Impact: Leslie Jones finding humor in being hacked inadvertently sparked a global trend where people decided that if you can't beat the hackers, you might as well make a stand-up special about it. A win for comedy, a loss for privacy.. Fact: Did you know that after her hacking incident, Leslie Jones considered launching a clothing line called 'Hacked and Fabulous' but dropped it when she realized the market was saturated with 'disaster chic'?.