FEBRUARY 15, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: Trump Campaign's Russian Intelligence Contacts Revealed. Impact: The contacts with Russian intelligence sparked a series of events leading to an increase in conspiracy theories, resulting in more people believing in time travel and flat Earth conspiracies than ever before. Thanks, Russia!. Fact: Did you know that the term 'Russian collusion' has officially entered the lexicon of excuses for forgetting anniversaries?.
• Headline: Intel Shifts Focus from Science Fairs. Impact: Intel's decision to drop science fairs led to a mass exodus of budding inventors to YouTube, causing the birth of a new generation of DIY enthusiasts who believe that a hot glue gun can solve all of life's problems.. Fact: In a shocking twist, 'identity crisis' is actually the name of the newest hipster band formed by former science fair participants..
• Headline: 20th Century Fox Used Fake News to Publicize ‘A Cure for Wellness’. Impact: The fake news campaign resulted in a newfound skepticism towards all forms of media, inspiring a generation of people to only trust TikTok influencers as their primary news source. Welcome to the future!. Fact: Interestingly, the headline 'Trump and Putin Spotted at Swiss Resort' was actually the working title for a reality show that never made it to air..
• Headline: White House Proposes New Rules to Steady Insurance Markets Under Health Law. Impact: Proposing new rules to steady insurance markets under the health law made insurance companies realize they could profit off of literally anything, leading to a future where people are charged for breathing—breathe in, pay out!. Fact: Surprisingly, the only thing steady about insurance markets is their tendency to increase premiums—like a bad relationship, they just keep getting more expensive..