FEBRUARY 6, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: Tactical Shifts in Trump's Administration. Impact: After this tactical rethink, Trump decided to take up knitting as a new way to relax, inadvertently leading to a nationwide knitting craze that distracted the populace from actual governance. Little did they know, 'Knit and Purl' became the new 'Meet and Greet.'. Fact: Did you know that speed reading was invented to help politicians read their own legislation? Turns out, it doesn't work if they can't understand it!.
• Headline: Bowling Green Incident and Fake News Impact. Impact: The swift debunking of the 'Bowling Green Massacre' led to a new genre of internet humor: 'The Faux Pas Chronicles,' which became a hit, inspiring wannabe comedians everywhere to create increasingly absurd false stories to see if they could get fact-checked.. Fact: Did you know that 'fake news' was originally a term used to describe the plot twists in daytime soap operas? Life really does imitate art!.
• Headline: Escapism Reigns in Super Bowl Commercials, but Politics Proves Inescapable. Impact: The mix of escapism and politics in Super Bowl commercials resulted in a new genre: 'Woke Ads.' Suddenly, everyone realized they could sell potato chips by discussing systemic inequality, leading to a brief but intense debate about whether chips should be considered a luxury item.. Fact: Ever wonder why commercials are so whimsical? Well, they need to distract you from the fact that your favorite brand is probably supporting a political candidate who thinks climate change is a 'hoax.'.
• Headline: Trump Protesters Borrow From Tea Party to Put Pressure on Lawmakers. Impact: This wave of protests inspired a new reality show: 'Congressional Showdown,' where lawmakers had to face off against angry constituents armed with nothing but questions and hashtags. Surprisingly, it boosted ratings higher than any actual policy discussion.. Fact: Did you know that the Tea Party was actually a group of people who really loved tea but got sidetracked by politics? They just wanted some Earl Grey and ended up with a revolution instead!.