JANUARY 16, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: The Notable Celebrity Deaths of 2016. Impact: The untimely demise of beloved celebrities in 2016 led to an unprecedented spike in online conspiracy theories, suggesting that the universe was attempting to reboot the concept of fame. This ultimately resulted in the rise of influencers who are, ironically, not famous for anything other than being famous.. Fact: 2016 saw so many celebrity deaths that it was almost like a twisted version of 'Survivor'—only the most obscure B-list actors were left standing by year's end..
• Headline: Packers' Dramatic Victory Over Cowboys. Impact: The Packers' last-second victory sent shockwaves through the NFL, inspiring a generation of fans to believe that miracles can happen—especially if you have a kicker who can nail a 51-yarder under pressure. This eventually led to an increase in children insisting on practicing field goals instead of, you know, anything else.. Fact: Mason Crosby's kick was so dramatic that it almost overshadowed the actual game—because who needs a whole team when you have one hero with a foot of gold?.
• Headline: In Trump’s Feud With John Lewis, Blacks Perceive a Callous Rival. Impact: Trump's spat with John Lewis ignited a cultural firestorm that reignited discussions about race, politics, and historical context in America. This moment ultimately led to social media becoming even more of a battleground for armchair historians and self-proclaimed activists.. Fact: Criticizing John Lewis is like picking a fight with a beloved grandparent; you'll lose, and you'll probably end up regretting it during Thanksgiving dinner..
• Headline: Workers Say Andrew Puzder Is ‘Not the One to Protect’ Them, but He’s Been Chosen To. Impact: Andrew Puzder's appointment as labor secretary became a case study in irony, as it demonstrated that sometimes, the best way to protect workers is to appoint someone who has historically not wanted to. This raised questions about the future of American labor rights, eventually leading to a renaissance of worker solidarity—at least on Twitter.. Fact: Puzder’s history was so full of contradictions that he could have headlined a reality show called 'Who Wants to Be a Labor Secretary?'. Spoiler alert: Nobody!.