JANUARY 15, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: Falcons Command Victory Over Seahawks. Impact: If the Falcons hadn't capitalized on Seattle's blunders, we might have never seen Matt Ryan's awkward post-game dance moves become a TikTok sensation, leading to a viral dance craze that distracts millions from important issues. Thanks, Falcons!. Fact: In the grand scheme of life, most people can only name a handful of Falcons players, but everyone remembers the guy who sings in the shower. True talent often goes unnoticed..
• Headline: Aaron Rodgers' Hometown Ties and Family Strain. Impact: Aaron Rodgers' broken family huddle ultimately led to the invention of the 'Family Huddle App,' which helps estranged relatives avoid each other at all costs—revolutionizing Thanksgiving dynamics for generations to come.. Fact: Chico, California, is not just the hometown of Aaron Rodgers; it's also home to the world's largest collection of 'I Love My Broken Family' merchandise..
• Headline: Global Leaders Unite for Peace Conference. Impact: The failed peace efforts between Israel and the Palestinians ignited a global game of diplomatic hot potato, where world leaders exchanged awkward phone calls while trying to avoid discussing their own countries’ conflicts. Spoiler alert: it didn't end well.. Fact: Paris has hosted so many peace conferences that it's now considered the world's unofficial 'let's all just get along' capital—right next to 'let's eat croissants' central..
• Headline: Yellow Cab, Long a Fixture of City Life, Is for Many a Thing of the Past. Impact: The decline of Yellow Cab led to the rise of ride-hailing apps, which in turn created an entire generation of people who think 'getting a ride' is as easy as swiping right. Spoiler: it's not always just about the ride.. Fact: New Yorkers once had to hail cabs with their hands. Now they just hail them with their smartphones, effectively reducing the need for upper body strength..
• Headline: Women’s March Gives Boost to Start-Up for Bus Sharing. Impact: The Women's March inadvertently kickstarted the 'bus-sharing' trend, proving that when you get a bunch of passionate people together, they will literally share anything—except their opinions on the best brunch spots.. Fact: Skedaddle's slogan 'Get on the Bus' was almost replaced with 'Because Walking Is Overrated,' but that was deemed too honest..