JANUARY 10, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: Betsy DeVos: Wealth and Politics in Education. Impact: If Betsy hadn’t thrown her wallet around like confetti, we might have had a different education system—one where public schools didn’t feel like they were in a perpetual state of a budget crisis. Imagine a world where teachers actually got paid what they deserved! Oh wait, that’s just a fantasy.. Fact: Betsy DeVos once said, 'I believe in school choice. And I also believe in the right of rich people to have more say in education than everyone else.' Quite the visionary, right?.
• Headline: Trump Appointees and Tax Shelter Controversy. Impact: Had the critics been right, we could have seen a mass migration of wealthy appointees to a new tax haven—perhaps a private island named 'Tax Evasion'. The ripple effect? A brand-new reality show: 'Real Appointees of Tax Shelter Island'.. Fact: Tax loopholes are a lot like good Wi-Fi—everyone's looking for it, but only a select few actually get to enjoy it..
• Headline: Cuomo's Presidential Ambitions Take Center Stage. Impact: Cuomo’s ambition set off a chain reaction where every politician started checking their hair gel stocks—because apparently, looking good is half the battle. Who knew good hair could alter presidential race dynamics?. Fact: Andrew Cuomo once said, 'I’m not just the governor, I’m the governor with the best hair.' Okay, he never actually said that, but can you imagine? The campaign slogans would write themselves!.
• Headline: Muted Response From Health Lobby as Affordable Care Act Faces Repeal. Impact: When the health lobby went silent, it was like a butterfly flapping its wings in D.C. The resulting chaos? A healthcare system that could rival a game of Jenga—one wrong move and it all comes crashing down.. Fact: The Affordable Care Act was like that one friend who always shows up to the party, but everyone secretly wishes would just leave. Yet, when it was almost gone, suddenly everyone realized how much they missed it..
• Headline: Volkswagen Executive’s Trip to U.S. Allowed F.B.I. to Pounce. Impact: Thanks to a poorly timed vacation, this exec's trip led to a massive scandal that made people rethink their car choices. Who knew a simple plane ticket could send shockwaves through the auto industry? Now every road trip comes with a side of suspicion.. Fact: The only thing worse than getting caught for emissions fraud is having to explain to your boss why you won’t be attending the annual 'Cars & Coffee' meet-up anymore. Awkward!.