JANUARY 3, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: Transformative Health Reforms Post-Obama. Impact: After Obama’s health reforms, a butterfly in the distant future decides to become a doctor instead of a butterfly keeper, leading to a world where healthcare is discussed at brunches instead of just barbershops.. Fact: Did you know that the Affordable Care Act was so influential that even people who never visited a doctor started discussing their ‘healthcare plans’? Just what we all wanted at dinner parties!.
• Headline: House Republicans Target Ethics Office Power. Impact: The gutting of the Independent Ethics Office leads to a future where politicians start wearing capes, claiming they’re above the law. Spoiler alert: they’re not, but it makes for great reality TV.. Fact: Fun fact: 'Independent Ethics Office' is actually just a euphemism for 'The Place Where We Pretend to Care About Ethics' in political speak..
• Headline: India’s Call-Center Talents Put to a Criminal Use: Swindling Americans. Impact: As call-center talents pivot to swindling, a butterfly in India accidentally becomes a tech-savvy Robin Hood, robbing from the rich and giving to themselves, which leads to a future filled with very confused rich people.. Fact: Fun fact: The phrase 'Hello, this is your friendly neighborhood call center' is now considered a warning sign in most modern households!.