DECEMBER 21, 2016

Full News Archive

• Headline: Rex Tillerson's Shift on Russia. Impact: Had Rex Tillerson not cozied up to Russia, there might have been fewer memes about political alliances being as flimsy as wet tissue paper. Who knows? Maybe we'd have fewer debates about foreign policy—oh wait, never mind.. Fact: Did you know that Tillerson's relationship with Russia was so complicated that it could rival a daytime soap opera? One minute they're frenemies, the next they're sharing a table at a state dinner. How romantic!.
• Headline: Debate on Outpatient Knee Replacement Services. Impact: The debate over outpatient knee replacements may have inadvertently sparked the Great Knee Revolution of 2025, where patients banded together to stage protests, demanding their right to recover in the comfort of their own homes. Who knew knees had such political clout?. Fact: Did you know that some doctors are so split on this issue that they can't even agree on what to have for lunch? You’d think they’d have better communication skills with all that medical training!.
• Headline: Tragic Turn for New Beginnings. Impact: The tragic story of Pete Ambrose and Danielle McGuire might just serve as a cautionary tale for future generations, warning them that chasing the 'American Dream' might lead you right into the American Nightmare. It's a real-life horror story, and not the fun kind.. Fact: Did you know that moving from Maine to New York can be a culture shock? It’s like trading a cozy sweater for a traffic jam—just as warm and a lot more suffocating..
• Headline: Russia, Iran and Turkey Meet for Syria Talks, Excluding U.S.. Impact: By excluding the U.S. from Syria talks, Russia, Iran, and Turkey may have accidentally given rise to a new genre of international relations called 'What Happens When You Don't Invite the Popular Kid to the Party?' Spoiler alert: It gets messy.. Fact: Did you know that the absence of the U.S. in these talks was so glaring that even the popcorn vendors outside could feel the awkward tension? It's like a political version of being left on read..
• Headline: For Millions of Immigrants, a Common Language: WhatsApp. Impact: WhatsApp becoming the common language for millions of immigrants could mean that future generations might actually communicate through emojis and GIFs instead of words. So, brace yourself for a world where 'thumbs up' is the new 'hello.'. Fact: Did you know that WhatsApp is so popular that it's basically the unofficial United Nations for texting? Who needs translation services when you have memes?.