DECEMBER 8, 2016

Full News Archive

• Headline: Trump's Business Stake Controversy. Impact: If Trump had divested completely, perhaps the world would have seen a coup in reality TV instead of politics, where the competition would be more about who can cry on cue than who can tweet the loudest.. Fact: Did you know that keeping a stake in your business while being president is like trying to juggle flaming swords? It’s impressive until someone gets hurt..
• Headline: Emotional Journey in 'Tiny Beautiful Things'. Impact: The emotional waves from this play may have sparked a nationwide shortage of tissues, leading to a rise in the paper industry while simultaneously boosting emotional support animal adoption.. Fact: Fun fact: Crying can burn calories! So technically, audiences could lose weight while mourning their life choices at the theater..
• Headline: Emerging Markets and Dollar Debt Crisis. Impact: This surge in the dollar might just be the reason why a cat in a small village in Romania is now a billionaire—because someone decided to invest in catnip futures instead of actual currency.. Fact: Did you know that the average person has no idea what a ‘debt servicing cost’ is? But they sure feel it when they can't afford avocado toast!.
• Headline: Tied to Europe, Britain’s Car Industry Is Vulnerable After ‘Brexit’. Impact: If only Britain had known that their car industry would become as stable as a toddler on a tricycle, they might have reconsidered their exit strategy. Now it's a race to see who can drive into the ditch first.. Fact: Did you know that the car industry is basically a metaphor for Brexit? Both are trying to steer in a straight line but end up in a roundabout of confusion..
• Headline: Color of 2017? Pantone Picks a Spring Shade. Impact: Choosing a 'Spring Shade' could lead to a global uprising of plants demanding better representation—next up, the 'Greenery' rights movement.. Fact: Did you know that Pantone colors are like the Kardashians of the art world? Everyone pretends to care about them, but they just keep coming back every season..