NOVEMBER 26, 2016

Full News Archive

• Headline: Shawn Levy's Vision Leads to Success. Impact: If Shawn Levy had never believed in himself, he might have never made 'Arrival,' leading to an alternate universe where aliens arrive to find humanity still stuck in a perpetual cycle of bad family comedies, forever waiting for a decent plot twist.. Fact: Fun fact: Before directing 'Arrival,' Levy was best known for 'Cheaper by the Dozen.' So, really, who would have thought he'd be the one to unlock the secrets of time and space?.
• Headline: Exploring Black Friday Shopping Trends. Impact: The sisters from New York and New Jersey might have inadvertently started a trend that leads to a future where people only communicate through frantic texting about discounts, resulting in the ultimate downfall of human interaction.. Fact: Did you know that Black Friday has morphed into a national sport? Prepare for the Olympic event of shopping where the gold medal goes to the one who can elbow their way to the last flat-screen TV!.
• Headline: Vote Integrity Defended Amid Recount Efforts. Impact: The ongoing disputes over voting integrity set a precedent that spirals into a future where elections are decided by a reality TV show format, complete with audience votes and dramatic eliminations.. Fact: Did you know that recounts are basically the electoral version of 'Are you sure you want to delete this file?' Because, yes, sometimes we really do just need a second look!.
• Headline: ‘Vulture’ or ‘Phoenix’? Wilbur Ross, Risk-Taker, Is Eyed for Commerce Post. Impact: Choosing Wilbur Ross as Commerce Secretary leads to a series of bizarre economic policies that eventually result in a world currency based entirely on vintage vinyl records. Good luck trading those!. Fact: Fun fact: Ross has been compared to both a vulture and a phoenix. So, if you see a bird wearing a business suit, just know it’s probably Ross, ready to capitalize on the next economic disaster..
• Headline: Fidel Castro, Cuban Revolutionary Who Defied U.S., Dies at 90. Impact: Fidel Castro's death triggers a wave of nostalgia for his complex legacy, leading to a modern-day resurgence in revolutionary fashion, complete with berets and cigars, as millennials try to redefine rebellion.. Fact: Castro was once a baseball player before becoming a revolutionary. Imagine if he had just stuck to baseball—would we have seen the 'Cuban League' or a new era of baseball diplomacy?.