NOVEMBER 2, 2016

Full News Archive

• Headline: E-Cigarettes: A Controversial Health Perspective. Impact: The e-cigarette debate sparked a global movement for vaping rights, eventually leading to the 'Great Puff-Off' of 2028, where vapers worldwide gathered to create the largest vapor cloud, disrupting weather patterns and causing a temporary 'smoky haze' over major cities. Thanks, experts!. Fact: Did you know that in 2019, an e-cigarette was more likely to get you a side-eye from your mother than an actual cigarette? Progress, folks!.
• Headline: Concerns Grow Over Black Voter Turnout. Impact: The lackluster voter turnout led to a nationwide campaign to summon the ghost of Barack Obama, who was said to be the only one capable of motivating voters, resulting in an annual 'Ghostly Rally' where people dress as historical figures to inspire civic duty.. Fact: Did you know that low turnout often leads to politicians trying to bribe citizens with promises? Spoiler alert: they rarely deliver!.
• Headline: The Secret Lives of Hotel Doormen. Impact: The doorman's struggle against technology led to the rise of 'Doorman 2.0' - a series of highly-trained AI doormen that provide impeccable service but have a penchant for awkward small talk, leading to a societal crisis known as 'The Awkward Age.'. Fact: Did you know that the most dangerous job in a hotel is now 'doorman'? They face more foot traffic than an airport during holiday season!.
• Headline: How the Internet Is Loosening Our Grip on the Truth. Impact: The internet's grip on truth spiraled into the 'Post-Truth Era,' where everyone began identifying as their preferred news source, leading to bizarre social interactions where people introduced themselves as 'CNN' or 'Fox News,' ultimately resulting in a national identity crisis.. Fact: Did you know that in a world of misinformation, the only truth left is that nobody actually knows what they’re talking about? Cheers to that!.