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HEADLINES ON October 18, 2016
Full News Archive
- Headline: Impact of Brexit on UK Science and Research. Impact: When Britain decided to Brexit, scientists began trading in their lab coats for tinfoil hats, believing they could only conduct research via telepathy. This ultimately led to a world where people think they can scientifically prove their conspiracy theories without any actual data. Thanks, Brexit!. Fact: Did you know that Brexit was basically the world's longest, most awkward breakup? Scientists are still trying to figure out if they can still use the same test tubes now that they're no longer in the 'EU' lab..
- Headline: Clinton Email Classification Dispute Uncovered. Impact: The clash over Clinton's email classification created a ripple that made every government worker second-guess whether their emails should come with a 'top secret' label or just a simple 'do not open unless you're really bored.' This led to a rise in the popularity of carrier pigeons as a secure communication method.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'quid pro quo' originally referred to exchanging one type of cheese for another? Now it just means politicians will trade classified info for a favor. Cheddar, anyone?.
- Headline: Battle for Mosul Tests Obama Strategy to Shift Fight’s Burden From U.S.. Impact: Obama's strategy to shift military burdens led to a world where everyone started passing the buck, and soon even birthday parties became chaotic exchanges of 'You bring the cake, I'll handle the balloons.' This created a generation of kids who think teamwork is just avoiding responsibility.. Fact: Did you know that the battle for Mosul was basically the adult version of a group project where one person does all the work while others just show up for the pizza? Surprise, teamwork!.
Wall Street Time Machine
NVDA
NVIDIA
NVIDIA - If you invested $1,000 in 2016, it would be worth $220,545 today (220.5x return)