OCTOBER 4, 2016

Full News Archive

• Headline: Colombia's Peace Deal Rejected Unexpectedly. Impact: The failure of the peace deal led to a resurgence of violence in Colombia, which resulted in countless people seeking asylum in other countries. This eventually contributed to the rise of salsa music in the suburbs of America as bored refugees turned to dance as therapy. Who knew salsa could be a remedy for civil war fallout?. Fact: Colombia is the world's largest producer of emeralds. So, while peace might have been elusive, at least they were still sparkling!.
• Headline: Faith's Role in Political Debate Returns. Impact: The reintroduction of faith into politics led to a strange phenomenon where politicians began quoting scripture more than they quoted actual facts. This ultimately resulted in a nationwide obsession with interpreting the Bible as a guide to public policy—because nothing says democracy like divine intervention.. Fact: Tim Kaine once taught Sunday school. So, if you ever wondered what it’s like to have a politician who can also give you a sermon, look no further!.
• Headline: Trump's 1980s Financial Struggles Revealed. Impact: Trump’s near-ruin in the '80s created a ripple effect that led to the rise of reality TV. Had he gone bankrupt, we might have never had the glorious spectacle of watching rich people pretend to know what they're doing on screen. Thank you, near financial disaster!. Fact: The 1980s were a great time for financial disasters—just ask any Wall Street broker. It was like a reality show without cameras!.
• Headline: Who Is Elena Ferrante? Supporters Say NOYB. Impact: The mystery surrounding Elena Ferrante’s identity sparked a global movement of literary sleuths. This obsession paved the way for countless book clubs and conspiracy theories, eventually leading to a world where everyone thinks they can write the next great novel—spoiler alert: they probably can’t.. Fact: Ferrante's anonymity is so well-guarded that even her coffee preferences are a mystery. Now that's what I call a secret identity!.
• Headline: When It Comes to Tax Avoidance, Donald Trump’s Just a Small Fry. Impact: Trump being a small fry in the tax avoidance game led to a collective sigh of relief among Fortune 500 companies, who then felt emboldened to dodge taxes with even more creativity. This paved the way for future generations of CEOs to think they could simply 'outsmart' tax regulations—and they were right.. Fact: Tax avoidance is so common among the rich that it’s practically a hobby. Who needs golf when you can play 'Where's My Money?'.