SEPTEMBER 14, 2016

Full News Archive

• Headline: G.M.'s Bolt EV: Pioneering Affordable Electric Cars. Impact: If GM hadn't created the Bolt EV, Tesla might have continued to hoard all the cool EV cred, leading to a future where the only electric cars were known for their price tags and hipster stickers. Imagine a world where the only thing burning was the envy of non-Tesla drivers!. Fact: Did you know that the Bolt EV's name was inspired by the sound of electric bolts? Just kidding! It's actually because they couldn't think of anything better!.
• Headline: Bayer's Bold Move to Acquire Monsanto. Impact: Bayer's acquisition of Monsanto could lead to a future where farmers are genetically modifying crops to withstand their own spiraling debt, inventing a new strain of corn that grows in complete denial of the financial apocalypse.. Fact: Did you know that Bayer's logo is actually a pun on their ambitions? With the 'Bayer' name, they totally 'bear' the responsibility for all the farmer's woes!.
• Headline: Colin Powell, in Hacked Emails, Shows Scorn for Trump and Irritation at Clinton. Impact: Colin Powell's hacked emails show us that even in the highest echelons of power, everyone is just as petty as your average high school drama. A world where leaders can’t keep their opinions to themselves might lead to an increase in meme culture—thank you, Powell!. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more public than Colin Powell's opinions in those emails is the outrage they caused? Because nothing says 'diplomacy' like a good ol' email leak!.
• Headline: A $150 Million Stairway to Nowhere on the Far West Side. Impact: The $150 million stairway to nowhere might just be the ultimate metaphor for modern architecture—spending huge amounts of money to achieve absolutely nothing. A future where people pay to climb to nowhere could inspire a whole new wave of 'destination-less' travel.. Fact: Did you know that the real reason for the stairway's construction was to give people a place to contemplate their life choices? Because nothing says 'existential crisis' like a very expensive staircase with no destination!.