SEPTEMBER 10, 2016

Full News Archive

• Headline: Apple Rethinks Self-Driving Strategy. Impact: If Apple had succeeded in self-driving cars, the world might have been a little too utopian, leading to a backlash where people yearn for the good old days of traffic jams and road rage. Thanks, Apple! You singlehandedly made us value the human experience... or should we say the human 'experience' of yelling at other drivers.. Fact: Did you know that in the future, the phrase 'self-driving car' will become synonymous with 'my car just gave me a new reason to be late'?.
• Headline: Wells Fargo's Controversial Responses to Fines. Impact: Wells Fargo's 'no admission of wrongdoing' strategy has inspired countless other companies to adopt the same approach, leading to a world where apologies are as rare as unicorns and trust in banks dwindles faster than your last paycheck.. Fact: Fun fact: Wells Fargo's corporate motto is 'Oops, we did it again!' No, wait, that's Britney Spears. But you get the point..
• Headline: Giuliani's Risky Alliance with Trump. Impact: Giuliani's tango with Trump has set off a domino effect in politics where former mayors think they can run for president. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t end well, much like that time you thought you could eat a whole pizza by yourself.. Fact: Did you know that Rudy Giuliani once claimed he'd be a great mayor because he knew how to clean up crime? Apparently, he thought that meant cleaning up his own image too!.
• Headline: In the Bonobo World, Female Camaraderie Prevails. Impact: Bonobos' matriarchy could lead to a future where female leadership is taken seriously, resulting in a world where men are forced to wear ‘I’m Sorry’ t-shirts and listen to women’s opinions for once. Revolutionary or just terrifying? You decide.. Fact: Did you know that bonobos are basically the peacekeepers of the primate world? If only human leaders could take a page out of their book—or maybe just a nap instead..
• Headline: Jerry Lewis At 90: His Mouth Runneth Over. Impact: Jerry Lewis reaching 90 might have inspired a whole generation of comedians to think they, too, can just keep talking and people will listen. Spoiler: it doesn’t work that way; timing is everything, folks!. Fact: Did you know that Jerry Lewis once claimed to be the greatest comedian of all time? Well, he certainly was the greatest at talking about himself!.