JULY 11, 2016

Full News Archive

• Headline: Automation in Online Video Publishing. Impact: In an alternate timeline, the surge of automated video led to the rise of sentient AI directors who eventually created a blockbuster film that convinced humans to abandon all other forms of entertainment. Now they just watch video of grass growing.. Fact: Did you know that in 2025, a breakthrough in AI led to the first fully automated soap opera? It was called 'Days of Our Lives... in a Loop.'.
• Headline: Debate on Texas Open-Carry Laws Intensifies. Impact: The blurring of lines between suspects and marchers set off a chain reaction that resulted in a nationwide trend of everyone wearing camouflage to protests, leading to the first invisible man’s rights movement.. Fact: Did you know that in 2020, Texas passed a law allowing people to openly carry their emotional support animals? Yeah, you might want to avoid that state..
• Headline: U.F.C. Sells Itself for $4 Billion. Impact: When the UFC was sold for $4 billion, it sparked a global trend of sports leagues being sold to Hollywood studios, leading to a dystopian future where dodgeball is an Oscar-winning film franchise.. Fact: Did you know that in the same year, a new sport emerged called 'Couch Fighting'? It involves watching UFC while making exaggerated fighting movements from your sofa..
• Headline: Football Player Who Runs Track? Or Runner Who Plays Football?. Impact: The debate over whether a football player is also a runner led to the creation of a new Olympic sport: ‘Multi-Athlete Identity Crisis,’ which features events that include overthinking and existential dread.. Fact: Did you know that at one point, the athlete in question actually tried to run a marathon while simultaneously catching a football? Spoiler: It didn’t end well..