MAY 22, 2016

Full News Archive

• Headline: Virtual Currency Start-Up Challenges Norms. Impact: If this virtual fund had actually found a capitalist, who knows? We might have been living in a digital utopia where unicorns and rainbows powered our blockchain transactions. Instead, we got regulatory red tape that might as well be made of spaghetti.. Fact: The only thing less reliable than a venture fund without capitalists is the Wi-Fi in a coffee shop. Good luck finding your next big investment pitch!.
• Headline: Detroit's Digital Divide Affects Job Seekers. Impact: This digital divide could lead to a dystopian future where only the broadband-connected elite can find jobs, while the rest resort to carrier pigeons and handwritten resumes. Who knew pigeons could be so tech-savvy?. Fact: Did you know that 40% of Detroit residents being without broadband is just the universe's way of saying 'good luck with that job application'?.
• Headline: U.S. Drone Strike Targets Taliban Leader. Impact: This drone strike could set off a chain reaction of events leading to future historians debating whether the U.S. was a peacekeeper or a flying menace. Spoiler alert: it’s a mixed bag.. Fact: Fun fact: the Taliban chief's life was cut short by a drone strike, which is way more dramatic than any reality TV show plot twist!.
• Headline: Entrusted to Save Brazil: The Party That Ruined Rio. Impact: The irony of the party that ruined Rio now being entrusted to save Brazil could lead to a reality where they somehow find a way to monetize despair. 'Coming soon: The Rio Experience!'. Fact: It's almost poetic that the party known for its corruption is now in charge of fixing things. Who needs a superhero when you have political irony?.
• Headline: It’s No Accident: Advocates Want to Speak of Car ‘Crashes’ Instead. Impact: Changing the terminology from 'accidents' to 'crashes' could eventually lead to a world where people actually take driving seriously, or at least swap out their coffee for a double shot of reality.. Fact: Did you know that calling car accidents 'crashes' is like calling a bad haircut a 'style choice'? It doesn’t change the fact that it’s still pretty messy!.