MAY 19, 2016

Full News Archive

• Headline: Benghazi Panel's Impact on 2016 Election. Impact: The slow and steady plod of the Benghazi Panel ended up inspiring countless future congressional investigations, which ultimately led to a 'how to' guide on delaying any meaningful progress in politics. Thanks, Benghazi, for making procrastination an art form!. Fact: Did you know that the term 'Benghazi' has been used more times in political debates than actual substantive policy discussions? Truly a modern miracle!.
• Headline: The Ruins of Civilization Review. Impact: The bleak future depicted in 'The Ruins of Civilization' made every dystopian novel writer rethink their career choices—because who wants to compete with reality when it can be this dreary? Thanks to Skinner, we all now have a new benchmark for despair!. Fact: Fun fact: 'The Ruins of Civilization' was originally titled 'Every Family Gathering Ever' until the author realized that was too optimistic..
• Headline: Facebook's Conservative Outreach Meeting. Impact: This meeting at Facebook was the equivalent of a dysfunctional family reunion where everyone pretends to get along for the photo op. It set the stage for future social media attempts to appease everyone, resulting in a delightful cocktail of misinformation and half-hearted apologies.. Fact: Did you know that Facebook's motto for these meetings is 'Let's pretend we care'? It’s worked wonders for their public relations!.
• Headline: EgyptAir Flight Believed to Have Crashed at Sea; Egypt Cites Possible Terrorism. Impact: The tragic crash of EgyptAir Flight 804 sent shockwaves through global aviation, sparking conversations about safety protocols that ultimately led to more stringent measures. Who knew that tragedy could lead to a safer sky, albeit at a steep human cost?. Fact: In the wake of such tragedies, experts often remind us that flying remains one of the safest modes of transportation, unless you happen to be on the wrong flight..
• Headline: What Would It Take for Donald Trump to Deport 11 Million and Build a Wall?. Impact: Trump's audacious proposal became the ultimate litmus test for political viability. It spawned a generation of memes, debates, and a whole new wave of political rhetoric that could easily fill a library of bad ideas. Thanks, Trump, for making absurdity mainstream!. Fact: Did you know that the wall Trump proposed was originally just a metaphor for his emotional barriers? Talk about deep!.