MAY 16, 2016

Full News Archive

• Headline: Social Conservatives' Shift Towards Trump. Impact: This moment marked the beginning of a bizarre political phenomenon where 'lesser of two evils' became a national pastime, leading to a reality TV star becoming president. If not for this, perhaps we’d all be debating the merits of actual policy instead of tweeting memes.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'lesser of two evils' was originally coined to describe choosing between types of cheese? Ah, America!.
• Headline: Dick Wolf Revitalizes NBC with Procedurals. Impact: Thanks to Dick Wolf, the world was gifted with endless procedural dramas, which led to a surge in lawyer and detective costumes for Halloween. Who knew crime-solving could be so fashionable?. Fact: Did you know that Dick Wolf’s shows have created more fictional criminals than actual prisons? Talk about a booming economy!.
• Headline: Understanding Millennial Consumer Preferences. Impact: The struggle to understand millennial tastes led to the rise of avocado toast and artisanal coffee, which, in turn, caused a nationwide shortage of affordable housing. Thanks for that, guys!. Fact: Did you know that millennials are the first generation to actively seek out experiences over material possessions? Which explains why they’re all broke but have 47 different travel mugs..
• Headline: When TV Ads Go Subliminal With a Vengeance, We’ll Be to Blame. Impact: This event signaled the start of a new era in advertising where brands would resort to mind control techniques. Little did we know, the real 'subliminal messaging' would come in the form of influencers pretending to love products they clearly don’t.. Fact: Did you know that subliminal messaging was first popularized by a movie in the 1950s? So, if you ever feel compelled to buy a weird snack at 2 AM, you might want to check your subconscious!.
• Headline: Review: ‘Daphne’s Dive,’ Where Everybody Knows You’re Broke. Impact: This review highlighted the plight of the underprivileged, reminding future generations that while the rich got richer, the rest of us were just trying to survive on the scraps of artistic endeavors. A true classic tale of class struggle!. Fact: Did you know that 'Daphne's Dive' was inspired by actual dives in Philadelphia? And yes, they do know you're broke, but they still want you to order the overpriced fries..