APRIL 10, 2016

Full News Archive

• Headline: Spieth's Dramatic Final Holes Collapse. Impact: If only Spieth had made that putt, the world may have been filled with more golf-themed memes, leading to a rise in golf-themed coffee mugs. Imagine the butterfly effect of a mug that says 'I'm not a golfer, I'm a putt whisperer' being mass-produced and selling out globally.. Fact: Did you know that golf is the only sport where you can actually yell 'fore!' and it’s not considered rude? Just imagine trying that in football..
• Headline: A Father's Difficult Decision on Radicalization. Impact: The choices made by parents like Sal Shafi may have inadvertently sparked a global dialogue on radicalization, leading to a slew of poorly written self-help books that claim to prevent your child from becoming a 'terrorist' by simply reading more fairy tales.. Fact: Did you know that the word 'terrorism' comes from the French word 'terreur'? Just a reminder that even in language, we are still haunted by the ghosts of past revolutions..
• Headline: Coral Bleaching Crisis Sparks Global Concern. Impact: The loss of coral reefs could lead to a future where mermaids have to seek work as baristas, resulting in a coffee shortage that drives humanity to the brink of despair. Next stop: a dystopian underwater society where coffee is currency.. Fact: Did you know that coral reefs are often called the 'rainforests of the sea'? So if we keep killing them off, we might end up with underwater deserts instead of coffee shops..
• Headline: Revelation on Brussels Attackers Fuels Fears of New Assaults. Impact: The fear of new assaults might lead to a rise in paranoid conspiracy theories, including a Netflix series about a secret society of Belgian waffle makers planning to take over Europe one syrupy bite at a time. The real plot twist? They just wanted to make breakfast.. Fact: Did you know that Brussels is famous for its waffles? Because nothing says 'I love you' like a crispy breakfast treat amid geopolitical chaos..