APRIL 4, 2016

Full News Archive

• Headline: Garland's Supreme Court Nomination Strategy. Impact: If they had just acted like they were going to ignore the Senate, they could have turned the whole process into a reality show. 'Survivor: Supreme Court Edition' might have changed the course of legal history forever.. Fact: Did you know that the Senate has a long history of ignoring Supreme Court nominations? It’s basically their version of a game of hot potato, but everyone just pretends to be really busy..
• Headline: China's Driverless Car Revolution. Impact: China's leap in driverless car technology led to a global race, causing a future where people wonder why they ever thought steering was a good idea. Thanks, AI, for making Sunday drives a thing of the past.. Fact: Did you know that the first self-driving car was a modified Volkswagen? Talk about an upgrade; from 'Beetle' to 'Beep Beep, I'm on my own!'.
• Headline: Washington Metro, 40 and Creaking, Stares at a Midlife Crisis. Impact: The Washington Metro's midlife crisis inspired a nationwide trend of public transportation systems hiring life coaches. Now, every subway station has a motivational poster reminding commuters to 'believe in their journey.'. Fact: Did you know that the Washington Metro was once considered a marvel of modern engineering? Now it's more like that friend who keeps borrowing money and never pays it back..
• Headline: Ryan Arcidiacono May Talk Villanova to a Title. Impact: Ryan Arcidiacono's pep talks led to Villanova's success, sparking a whole generation of athletes who now think they can win championships just by yelling inspirational quotes. Somewhere, a motivational poster is crying tears of joy.. Fact: Did you know that before becoming a basketball star, Ryan Arcidiacono was just a regular kid? Shocking, I know; he didn’t pop out of the womb wearing a jersey and holding a basketball!.