FEBRUARY 19, 2016

Full News Archive

• Headline: Tim Cook's Stand for Digital Privacy. Impact: If Tim Cook hadn't stood up to the F.B.I., we might all be living in a dystopian reality where our toasters report our breakfast habits to the government. Thanks, Tim, for saving us from the 'Big Brother Breakfast Club.'. Fact: Did you know that if you combine Tim Cook's fierce protection of privacy with the amount of time people spend on their phones, you could create an entirely new sport? It's called 'Dodge the Data Breach.'.
• Headline: Apple vs. Law Enforcement: Encryption Debate. Impact: The encryption update was like a digital seed planted in a garden of chaos, eventually leading to a world where hackers and prosecutors are locked in a never-ending game of cat and mouse. Spoiler: the mice always win.. Fact: Fun fact: Apple's encryption is so strong that if it were a superhero, its name would be Captain Unhackable. Just picture it in a cape, fighting off data thieves!.
• Headline: Trump vs. Pope: A Political Showdown. Impact: Trump's spat with the Pope may have caused a ripple effect where every future political figure thinks they can take on the Vatican. Get ready for the 'Holy Smackdown' reality show starring politicians and clergy!. Fact: Did you know that criticizing the Pope is like throwing rocks at a giant, holy piñata? You might get a few treats, but you'll mostly just end up with a lot of angry Catholics..
• Headline: Review: ‘The Humans’ Depicts a Family, and a Country, Under Pressure. Impact: This play might have been the butterfly that flapped its wings and led to a resurgence of family dramas on stage, eventually giving rise to a new genre: 'Tragicomic Family Feud' – a sure-fire hit for future generations.. Fact: Fun fact: 'The Humans' could easily double as a documentary for anyone who has ever spent Thanksgiving with their family. Just add a few awkward silences and a turkey that won't cook..
• Headline: My Parents, My Landlords. Impact: If parents keep buying apartments for their grown kids, we might soon see a rise in the 'Millennial Landlord Association,' where every member is just a confused child trying to figure out how to pay rent to their own parents.. Fact: Did you know that in New York, 'starter apartments' have become so expensive, they should come with a complimentary financial advisor and a lifetime supply of instant ramen?.