FEBRUARY 16, 2016

Full News Archive

• Headline: Lamar Dominates Grammys, Swift Celebrates 1989. Impact: Kendrick Lamar's Grammy victory inspired a generation of rappers to take themselves seriously, resulting in an influx of deep, poetic lyrics that somehow made their way into every high school English class. Now, Shakespeare is rolling in his grave—good luck finding a rom-com that doesn't feature a rap battle.. Fact: Did you know that Taylor Swift's '1989' was so popular, it practically caused a resurgence in the use of the phrase 'Shake it Off' in everyday life? Thanks, Taylor, for ensuring we’ll never escape that catchy earworm..
• Headline: Bush Family Challenges Trump in Primary Clash. Impact: The clash between Jeb Bush and Donald Trump sent shockwaves through the GOP, leading to a cosmic rift that allowed aliens to invade our political discourse. Somewhere in a parallel universe, the Bush family is still using flip phones and asking, 'What's a tweet?'. Fact: Fun fact: The Bush family is so entrenched in American politics, they probably have their own secret handshake. Spoiler alert: It involves a lot of awkward nodding and looking at the camera..
• Headline: G.O.P.-Obama Judicial Clash Before Scalia's Death. Impact: Justice Scalia's death created a power vacuum that propelled the political landscape into chaos, eventually leading to the rise of memes as a primary source of political commentary—because who needs informed debate when you can just post a GIF of a cat looking confused?. Fact: It's interesting to note that the confirmation process for judicial nominees has become so convoluted, you might as well apply for a spot on a reality TV show. At least then you’d get a dramatic montage..
• Headline: At the Grammys, Big Voices, Pretty Faces and Bitter Truths. Impact: The Grammys’ mix of big voices and pretty faces led to an entire generation of musicians believing that live performances could erase the pain of a lackluster awards ceremony. In the future, artists will be required to perform while simultaneously doing the Macarena just to keep audiences awake.. Fact: The Recording Academy has been called 'stodgy' so many times, it might as well be their official motto. If they had a logo, it would probably be a tortoise in a tuxedo..
• Headline: Transgender Patients Face Challenges at the Hospital. Impact: The challenges faced by transgender patients sparked a wave of healthcare reforms that eventually led to hospitals offering complimentary glitter and self-esteem boosters in waiting rooms. Because who doesn’t want a little sparkle while waiting for a check-up?. Fact: Did you know that before this, hospitals were about as welcoming to transgender patients as a bouncer at a nightclub? Thankfully, the healthcare industry finally realized that good health care shouldn't come with a side of judgment..