JANUARY 21, 2016

Full News Archive

• Headline: Dorsey's Dual Challenge: Twitter and Square. Impact: Jack Dorsey's struggle with Twitter and Square led to a strange cosmic event where every tweet he sent caused a ripple through the stock market, making day-traders believe they were actually time wizards. In an alternate timeline, they actually are.. Fact: Did you know that juggling two companies is a lot like juggling flaming swords? One slip and you might just get burned, and in this case, it’s the shareholders!.
• Headline: Oscar Academy Aims for Diversity Reform. Impact: The Film Academy's attempts to improve Oscar diversity sparked a chain reaction where other award shows felt compelled to follow suit. Soon, even the neighborhood bake-off started including gluten-free options, because, you know, fairness.. Fact: Fun fact: The Oscars have had more changes than a toddler's mood after a sugar rush. Let's hope this one sticks!.
• Headline: Ted Cruz Adjusts Strategy Against Trump. Impact: Ted Cruz's desperate attempts to outsmart Trump set off a bizarre chain of events where political strategists began consulting astrologers and fortune tellers, thinking they could predict the unpredictable.. Fact: Did you know that rewriting a playbook is a lot like rewriting history? You can always make your past look better with a little editing…just ask any politician!.
• Headline: Review: ‘Our Mother’s Brief Affair,’ a Play About Unmoored Lives. Impact: The play 'Our Mother’s Brief Affair' reminded audiences of the interconnectedness of lives, leading to a global resurgence in family therapy. Suddenly, everyone was calling their parents to say, 'Hey, remember that time you ignored me?'. Fact: Did you know that generational gaps are just fancy ways of saying 'I don’t understand your TikTok dances'? It’s like a cultural game of telephone!.
• Headline: 미래의 창업가 키우는 데 힘 쏟는 미국 대학들. Impact: The rise of concerns over education in South Korea led to a worldwide education reform, with students everywhere suddenly demanding shorter school days and more nap time, because who doesn't want a siesta?. Fact: Fun fact: South Korean students are known for their study habits...and their ability to function on just three hours of sleep. Why sleep when you can cram?.