JANUARY 6, 2016

Full News Archive

• Headline: Iraq's Fight Against ISIS Hindered by Regional Rivalry. Impact: If only the Saudis and Iranians had decided to settle their differences over a game of chess instead of a feuding competition, Iraq might have been a peaceful haven instead of a perpetual war zone. Who knew that a simple board game could have changed the entire Middle Eastern landscape?. Fact: Did you know that chess was invented in India? Maybe if they played it more, they would have figured out that fighting over oil is less productive than fighting over pawns..
• Headline: Oregon Protesters Challenge Federal Land Control. Impact: This protest could lead to a world where ranchers are the new overlords of federal lands. Just imagine a future where ranches become the new capitals and cattle are elected officials. Move over, democracy!. Fact: Fun fact: Cows have best friends and get stressed when separated from them. So, if ranchers take charge, their policies might just revolve around cow welfare!.
• Headline: North Korea's First Hydrogen Bomb Claim. Impact: If North Korea truly detonated a hydrogen bomb, the ensuing panic might lead to a global 'duck and cover' revival, complete with retro instructional videos and the return of Cold War-era hairstyles. A nuclear hairdo, anyone?. Fact: Did you know that hydrogen bombs are roughly 1,000 times more powerful than atomic bombs? So, you could say North Korea is really trying to take 'going big or going home' to a whole new level..
• Headline: On Display at CES, Tech Ideas in Their Awkward Adolescence. Impact: The awkward adolescence of tech suggests that we might be one bad product away from a future where everyone is wearing shoes that double as smartphones. Welcome to the age of the ‘ShoePhone’!. Fact: Did you know the first mobile phone weighed about 2.5 pounds and took 10 hours to charge? So, let’s just say we’ve come a long way since the days of lugging around a brick..
• Headline: In Iowa, Ted Cruz Savors Lead Role. Impact: Ted Cruz leading the charge could lead to a future where political debates are held in the form of talent shows, with candidates showcasing their singing abilities and dance moves. Who needs policies when you can do the Macarena?. Fact: Did you know that Iowa is known for its corn? So, if Cruz doesn’t win the election, he could always fall back on a career in corn mazes. Talk about a-maze-ing!.