DECEMBER 12, 2015

Full News Archive

• Headline: Historic Climate Pact Draft Finalized in Paris. Impact: The climate pact draft was like the world's most awkward first date; sure, they agreed to meet again, but it took a global meltdown to get them there. Guess who’s still ghosting? Everyone.. Fact: Did you know that despite all the talk about climate change, some people still think 'global warming' is just a fancy term for their hot yoga class?.
• Headline: A Junk Bond Fund Freezes Out Investors, and the Chills Spread. Impact: The junk bond fund freeze was the financial equivalent of a pop quiz no one studied for, leading to panic and a nationwide trend of people hiding their wallets under their mattresses. Spoiler: that's not a great investment strategy.. Fact: Did you know that this incident made fund managers rethink their career choices? 'Maybe I should have gone into interpretive dance,' one lamented..
• Headline: Nations Approve Landmark Climate Accord in Paris. Impact: The landmark climate accord was like a group project where everyone nodded in agreement but no one really did the work afterward. Fast forward, and we’re still arguing about who forgot to water the planet.. Fact: Did you know the landmark accord was so groundbreaking that even Mother Nature gave it a slow clap—right before throwing a hurricane at us?.