DECEMBER 5, 2015

Full News Archive

• Headline: Draghi Affirms Boundless ECB Stimulus Strategy. Impact: When Draghi declared no limits on stimulus, it set off a chain reaction leading to an endless cycle of economic debates. Eventually, someone decided that if the ECB could print money, why not just print happiness too? Spoiler: it didn't work.. Fact: Did you know that Mario Draghi’s famous phrase ‘Whatever it takes’ was actually just his way of asking for more espresso during meetings?.
• Headline: Combatting America's Gun Violence Crisis. Impact: The call to end the gun epidemic might have sparked a nationwide debate that led to an influx of memes, hashtags, and impassioned social media rants. Meanwhile, the actual problem remains about as solved as a Rubik's Cube in a dark room.. Fact: Fun fact: the phrase 'gun epidemic' was actually coined during a particularly intense game of rock-paper-scissors in Congress..
• Headline: Fed's Rate Increase Strategy in Question. Impact: The Fed’s indecision about rate increases caused ripples that led to a decade of market anxiety, ultimately resulting in investors developing a sixth sense for rate announcements. They now gather in dark rooms, chanting 'Fed Watch' like it's a cult.. Fact: Did you know that 'slow and steady' was the Fed's original motto until they realized it sounded too much like a tortoise race?.
• Headline: After San Bernardino Attack, Republican Candidates Talk ‘War’. Impact: The San Bernardino attack and the subsequent political response may have inadvertently kickstarted a new era of candidates using fear as a campaign strategy. Who knew that fear-mongering would become the hottest trend since avocado toast?. Fact: Fun fact: the phrase ‘new world war’ was initially a working title for a reality TV show about global politics that never made it past the pitching stage..
• Headline: The Post-Binge-Watching Blues: A Malady of Our Times. Impact: The post-binge-watching blues have since led to the rise of therapy specifically for recovering couch potatoes. Witnesses claim that the first session involved a lot of tears over unfinished series finales.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'binge-watching' was first coined by a group of students who just could not stop watching cat videos?.