NOVEMBER 21, 2015

Full News Archive

• Headline: NYC's Enhanced Counterterrorism Strategy. Impact: The establishment of the Permanent Squad inadvertently led to a future where every city had their own version of a 'Terrorism Taskforce'—including a few that were just glorified neighborhood watch groups armed with nothing but flashlights and overly enthusiastic volunteers.. Fact: In the future, police departments will have a dedicated 'Coffee and Donuts in Anti-Terrorism' unit that focuses on community engagement through brunch..
• Headline: F.D.A. Clarifies Non-G.M.O. Labeling Standards. Impact: The F.D.A.'s confusion over 'Non-G.M.O.' labels sparked a revolution in food marketing, leading to the introduction of 'Definitely Not G.M.O.' and 'Your Guess is as Good as Ours' labels, which confused consumers to the point they just started growing their own vegetables in their backyards.. Fact: In an ironic twist, the term 'Non-G.M.O.' eventually led to the creation of a new food pyramid that consisted solely of kale and quinoa—because who doesn't love a good trend?.
• Headline: Lego’s Success Leads to Competitors and Spinoffs. Impact: Lego's rise caused a chain reaction in the toy industry, resulting in every company scrambling to create a building block that could withstand the wrath of a toddler's tantrum—spoiler alert: nothing can.. Fact: Eventually, Lego became so successful that they had to start designing bricks with a warning that read, 'Not to be used as a weapon in sibling disputes.'.
• Headline: Paris and Mali Attacks Expose Lethal Qaeda-ISIS Rivalry. Impact: The rivalry between Al-Qaeda and ISIS set off a series of geopolitical maneuvers that culminated in a bizarre future where world leaders had to hold peace talks over a game of Monopoly to avoid real conflict—because nothing resolves tension like a chance card.. Fact: In a bizarre twist of fate, future historians will argue that the greatest peace treaties were forged over board games, with Uno being the most sought-after diplomatic tool..