NOVEMBER 16, 2015

Full News Archive

• Headline: Japan Faces New Economic Recession. Impact: This tiny contraction set off a chain reaction where Japanese salarymen began to hoard instant ramen, leading to a global noodle shortage that ultimately sparked a new culinary revolution in the United States. Who knew the fate of sushi depended on a recession?. Fact: Did you know that the term 'recession' is derived from the Latin word 'recedere', meaning to go back? So, basically, it's like the economy's version of taking a few steps back before tripping over its own feet..
• Headline: Syria Connection to Paris Attacks Explored. Impact: This investigation prompted a binge of international finger-pointing that has continued ever since, leading to the creation of multiple task forces that only managed to find more questions than answers. It's like the world's longest game of 'Clue'.. Fact: Did you know that every time a new suspect is named in a high-stakes investigation, a conspiracy theorist gets their wings? It's practically a rite of passage in the modern age..
• Headline: Global Soccer Brings Its ‘A’ Game to Brooklyn at BlazerCon. Impact: This event sparked a surge in hipster soccer fandom, where artisanal soccer balls became a trendy accessory, and matches were held in abandoned warehouses. The gentrification of soccer is now a thing, thanks to Brooklyn's influence.. Fact: Did you know that 'BlazerCon' sounds like a convention for fans of both soccer and really uncomfortable fashion choices? I mean, who doesn’t want to wear a blazer while kicking a ball?.
• Headline: Iowa TV Gets Its Close-Up, Enjoying Outsize Influence. Impact: Thanks to this newfound influence, Iowa TV executives began to believe they could single-handedly sway presidential elections, which led to a bizarre era of candidate cornfield ads. Who needs debates when you can just shout at a corn stalk?. Fact: Did you know that Iowa's influence in politics is so potent that it could probably convince a potato to run for office? I mean, at this point, anything's possible!.