OCTOBER 30, 2015

Full News Archive

• Headline: Fairway Market Faces Fierce Competition. Impact: The slumping of Fairway Market led to a surge in artisanal grocery stores, which in turn inspired hipsters to create 'experiential' grocery shopping, ultimately resulting in a world where buying avocados feels more like a religious pilgrimage than a mundane task.. Fact: Fairway's decline is proof that even grocery stores can’t escape the fate of being replaced by online shopping. Next up: ‘Grocery Store Escape Room’ where you try to find the last avocado before the door locks!.
• Headline: Keira Knightley's Broadway Debut Reviewed. Impact: Keira Knightley's portrayal of a baleful adulteress inspired a generation of artists to explore darker themes in literature and performance, leading to a boom in brooding characters… and endless memes about 'bad decisions' in relationships.. Fact: Émile Zola’s original novel was so scandalous that reading it in Victorian times could get you kicked out of book club. It's all fun and games until someone brings up moral decay!.
• Headline: Brooklyn to Westchester: A Family's Journey. Impact: This family’s move from Brooklyn to Westchester set off a chain reaction of gentrification that eventually led to artisanal pickle pop-ups and an influx of bearded baristas who can’t stop talking about their feelings.. Fact: Brooklyn’s hipster exodus to Westchester is so common that local realtors should start offering 'Brooklyn Starter Packs' complete with a vintage bicycle and a curated vinyl collection..
• Headline: Solo in Tokyo. Impact: The acceptance of solo dining in Tokyo encouraged a global trend where people can enjoy their own company—leading to the rise of 'self-care' retreats and the ultimate invention: the inflatable dinner date.. Fact: In Japan, dining alone is so normal that it's practically a sport. Who needs company when you can have sushi sitting across from you, right?.
• Headline: Ghostly Transcends Its Record Label Roots to Sell an Ethos. Impact: Ghostly’s evolution from a record label to a lifestyle brand marked the start of a new era where musicians are expected to sell everything from clothes to scented candles, leading us to the dystopian future where every pop star is also your personal stylist.. Fact: Ghostly’s pivot to lifestyle products proves that music isn’t enough anymore. Soon we’ll be buying artisanal soap from our favorite indie bands—because nothing says 'I love this song' like smelling like sandalwood!.