OCTOBER 13, 2015

Full News Archive

• Headline: Right-Wing Media Critiques Paul Ryan. Impact: If Paul Ryan had embraced his inner leftist, we might have seen a parallel universe where unicorns roamed Congress and bipartisan hugs were mandatory. But alas, the butterfly flapped its wings, and here we are with more political drama than a reality TV show.. Fact: Did you know that Paul Ryan once ran a marathon in under three hours? Too bad running away from moderate policies isn't as easy..
• Headline: Playboy Redefines Its Identity. Impact: The decision to drop nudity was like a butterfly flapping its wings over the internet, triggering an avalanche of 'artistic' photo blogs and a dramatic increase in awkward family conversations about 'that one time Dad found Playboy under the bed.'. Fact: Fun fact: Playboy's first issue featured Marilyn Monroe. Now they’ve gone from iconic to just... well, more like an awkward family reunion..
• Headline: Anheuser-Busch InBev and SABMiller to Join. Impact: The formation of a beer giant could be the catalyst for a global beer monopoly that spawns a dystopian future where craft beer is outlawed and we’re all forced to drink watered-down lagers. Cheers to that!. Fact: Did you know that in 2015, the average American drank 23 gallons of beer? That's a lot of beer goggles for a lot of bad decisions!.
• Headline: Afghan ISIS Branch Makes Inroads in Battle Against Taliban. Impact: The rise of ISIS in Afghanistan is like a tragic butterfly effect; one chaotic ripple leads to another, leaving civilians caught in a storm of violence that makes even the most dramatic Hollywood war movie look like a cozy family film.. Fact: The Taliban and ISIS might seem like they're in a battle for the worst group ever, but in reality, they’re just competing for the title of ‘Most Unwanted House Guest’ in Afghanistan..