OCTOBER 2, 2015

Full News Archive

• Headline: Jafar Panahi's Defiant Filmmaking in 'Taxi'. Impact: By challenging censorship, Panahi’s Taxi inadvertently inspires future filmmakers to use unconventional methods to bypass oppressive regimes, leading to an underground movement where people express dissent through mime. Yes, mime. That’s how far we’ve come.. Fact: Did you know that Jafar Panahi can’t actually be a taxi driver in Iran? It’s almost like being forced to take a taxi while being banned from driving one!.
• Headline: U.A.W. Vote Reflects Worker Dissatisfaction. Impact: The rejection of the contract by workers leads to a chain of events where unions across the globe realize that maybe, just maybe, they should listen to their members instead of their own egos. Spoiler: This leads to a lot of awkward meetings.. Fact: Did you know that ‘populist tone’ is union-speak for ‘we're really mad and we want to throw things’?.
• Headline: Amazon Halts Sales of Apple TV, Chromecast. Impact: In a bizarre twist of corporate rivalry, this decision sparks a revolution where couch potatoes unite to create a secret society of ‘streaming device purists,’ ultimately leading to the invention of the ‘Couch Potato Olympics.’. Fact: Did you know that in the future, Amazon will be fighting with itself over which of its own products to sell? What a plot twist!.
• Headline: Vladimir Putin Plunges Into a Caldron in Syria: Saving Assad. Impact: Putin's actions trigger a series of geopolitical chess moves, leading eventually to a world where everyone is playing chess instead of solving actual problems. The pawns take over the board, literally.. Fact: Did you know that plunging into a cauldron is not considered a typical diplomatic strategy? I guess Putin missed the memo..
• Headline: Matthias Müller, in the Driver’s Seat at Volkswagen. Impact: Müller’s leadership style leads to a new era where corporate executives begin to think they can actually connect with the people. This results in a bizarre phenomenon known as ‘executive empathy’ where CEOs start attending yoga classes.. Fact: Did you know that Volkswagen’s culture change is like trying to turn a cruise ship with a spoon? Spoiler alert: It doesn’t work well..