SEPTEMBER 26, 2015

Full News Archive

• Headline: Syria's Refugee Crisis Affects South Carolina. Impact: The fears in South Carolina about a wave of refugees led to the creation of an underground 'Welcome Wagon' that ironically became a hit reality show in 2030, where locals tried to outdo each other in hospitality. Spoiler alert: it ended in a pie-eating contest gone wrong.. Fact: Did you know that South Carolina was once known for its hospitality? Turns out, that was before the internet made everyone an expert on everything..
• Headline: Don Francisco's Emotional Farewell on TV. Impact: Don Francisco's final show sent shockwaves through the television world, sparking a decade-long trend of variety shows featuring increasingly bizarre talents, including a cat who could play the piano and a man who could juggle flaming torches while reciting Shakespeare.. Fact: Did you know that 'Sábado Gigante' aired for 53 years? That's longer than most people keep their New Year's resolutions!.
• Headline: Complex Car Software Becomes the Weak Spot Under the Hood. Impact: The revelation of complex car software being a weak spot led to a black market for 'manual' cars, resulting in a hipster renaissance where people paid exorbitant prices for rusted-out models that didn't even have a radio.. Fact: Did you know that the 'check engine' light was actually invented as a conspiracy to sell more car manuals? Just kidding, but wouldn’t that be a plot twist?.