AUGUST 31, 2015

Full News Archive

• Headline: Univision's I.P.O. Amid Changing TV Landscape. Impact: As Univision struggles against changing TV habits, a butterfly flaps its wings in the streaming world, leading to the rise of cat videos as the main source of human knowledge by 2030. Who needs news when you can watch a cat play piano?. Fact: Did you know that in a world where Trump didn't exist, Univision would still be battling against the ever-changing tides of technology? Shocking, right?.
• Headline: Fed Faces Pressure on Interest Rate Decisions. Impact: The decision on interest rates sends shockwaves across the economy, leading to a future where everyone suddenly understands what 'quantitative easing' means—enough to start using it in everyday conversations at awkward social gatherings.. Fact: Did you know that the Fed's decisions are so impactful that they could make or break the average American's weekend plans? Just watch the stock market tumble after someone mentions a hike in rates..
• Headline: Caste Quota Controversy in India. Impact: The backlash against caste quotas triggers a cultural revolution, eventually leading to the invention of a new social media platform solely dedicated to discussing who's more oppressed. Spoiler alert: it's a tie.. Fact: Did you know that caste systems have existed for thousands of years, proving that humanity's talent for discrimination is truly timeless?.
• Headline: Tools for Tailored Learning May Expose Students’ Personal Details. Impact: The data collection from educational tools leads to a future where students are required to submit their social media profiles as part of their report cards, creating a generation of young adults who are more concerned about their online image than their grades.. Fact: Did you know that students might soon be graded on their ability to conceal their embarrassing online history? Forget math; that's the real-life skill they'll need!.