AUGUST 12, 2015

Full News Archive

• Headline: China's Currency Devaluation and Global Impact. Impact: China's currency devaluation sent shockwaves through global markets, leading to a never-ending cycle of panic and government bailouts. If only someone had invented a time machine to warn them... oh wait, that's us! Time travelers are busy, you know.. Fact: Fun fact: When a currency devalues, it's like your money lost weight overnight. It may be lighter, but unfortunately, it still can't buy the same amount of stuff!.
• Headline: Bush Criticizes Clinton and Obama on Iraq. Impact: Jeb Bush's blame game not only stirred the political pot but also inspired future generations of politicians to master the art of finger-pointing. The art form is now taught in classrooms as 'How to Deflect Responsibility 101.'. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more frequent than U.S. troop withdrawals is politicians blaming their predecessors? It's like a never-ending relay race, but nobody's actually running—just passing the buck!.
• Headline: Handling of Donald Trump Puts Fox News on the Spot. Impact: The ongoing battle between Donald Trump and Fox News created a reality TV show that nobody asked for but everyone ended up watching. In a twist of fate, it laid the groundwork for future media moguls to monetize conflict like never before.. Fact: Did you know that their relationship is so complicated, it could almost qualify as a soap opera? Tune in next week for 'As the News Turns'—where ratings are more important than truth!.
• Headline: Straight Outta History, the Rage That Makes Movies. Impact: The promotion of 'Straight Outta Compton' led to a cultural revival and an influx of films based on real stories, which in turn made it acceptable for everyone to say, 'I could be a filmmaker!' and then promptly not do anything about it.. Fact: Fun fact: Taking stars into neighborhoods to discuss their movie is basically the Hollywood version of a book tour... except nobody reads anymore, and all the discussions turn into Instagram photo ops!.