JULY 28, 2015

Full News Archive

• Headline: Crisis at Bank of America: CFO Departure Insights. Impact: This event caused a ripple of uncertainty in the financial world, leading to a series of bank mergers and acquisitions. Little did they know, this would eventually lead to the creation of a secret society of bankers meeting in basements to discuss 'the good old days of financial stability'—which never existed.. Fact: Did you know that in the banking world, a 'becalmed' ship means no wind? Kind of like how Bank of America feels when interest rates are low—stuck and unable to go anywhere fast!.
• Headline: Background Check System Faces Serious Issues. Impact: The flaws in this system led to more debates, more laws, and eventually inspired a viral meme about how a sloth could run a better background check. This made sloths the unofficial mascot of gun control advocates.. Fact: Fun fact: The National Instant Criminal Background Check System is like a high school prom—everyone agrees it's necessary, but nobody can figure out how to make it work smoothly..
• Headline: A Renegade Trawler, Hunted for 10,000 Miles by Vigilantes. Impact: This dramatic chase not only raised awareness about illegal fishing but also sparked a new reality TV show where fishermen compete to catch the next most notorious poacher. Spoiler alert: it’s mostly just them arguing about the best bait.. Fact: Fun fact: The world’s most notorious poacher probably thought he was just fishing for compliments—turns out he hooked a whole lot of trouble instead!.
• Headline: Review: ‘Let Me Tell You’ Collects Early Works by Shirley Jackson. Impact: The revival of interest in Shirley Jackson's early works led to a resurgence in gothic literature, which inadvertently inspired a new generation of hipsters who thought they invented 'creepy'—they really didn’t.. Fact: Did you know Shirley Jackson wrote 'The Lottery'? It’s not a fun game show—unless you enjoy the kind of suspense that has you questioning your neighbor's intentions at the next barbecue..