JULY 9, 2015

Full News Archive

• Headline: Trans-Pacific Partnership's Economic Ramifications. Impact: If only the TPP had passed, the world might have been a utopia where avocados were cheaper, but instead, we got a banana republic of trade wars. Who knew a trade agreement could lead to avocado toast inflation?. Fact: Did you know that the TPP was so complex that even the people negotiating it needed a translator for their own jargon? It was basically an international game of 'telephone' with serious economic consequences..
• Headline: Public Pension Crisis Actuarial Panel Discussion. Impact: The bad math behind pensions led to a nationwide obsession with calculators and spreadsheets. Who would have thought that a few miscalculations could spark a revolution among actuaries, turning them into the new rock stars of finance?. Fact: Fun fact: The word 'actuary' comes from the Latin 'actuarius,' meaning 'one who does math while the rest of us are having fun.'.
• Headline: Cleveland Orchestra at Lincoln Center Festival. Impact: Franz Welser-Möst's success at the Lincoln Center could have created a parallel universe where classical music is the new pop. Imagine a world where Beethoven is more popular than Beyoncé!. Fact: Did you know that conducting an orchestra requires not just musical talent but excellent arm workout skills? Those baton-wielding maestros could probably bench press a piano!.
• Headline: Can’t Fire Him: Republican Party Frets Over What to Do With Donald Trump. Impact: The Republican Party's struggles with Trump led to the invention of a new political term: 'poli-sigh-tics.' As they attempted to navigate the chaos, they inadvertently created a reality show that continues to air in real life.. Fact: Did you know that when Trump was asked about his political strategy, he simply replied, 'I just wing it!'? Clearly, he was ahead of the curve on modern governance..
• Headline: Greek Plan Accepts Austerity to Get Debt Relief. Impact: Greece's acceptance of austerity measures was like tossing a life raft to a drowning man—only for him to find out that it was filled with rocks instead of air. The ripples of this decision still echo in the Mediterranean, as tourism officials scramble to explain the concept of a 'staycation.'. Fact: Fun fact: The term 'austerity' comes from the Greek word 'austeros,' meaning 'bitter.' Seems fitting, doesn't it?.