JUNE 30, 2015

Full News Archive

• Headline: Obama Expands Overtime Eligibility for Workers. Impact: By making millions more Americans eligible for overtime, Obama inadvertently fueled a nationwide surge in 'Netflix and Chill' sessions, as workers suddenly realized they could afford to binge-watch without guilt. Thanks, Obama!. Fact: Did you know that in 1975, the average American could buy a house with just a few years of salary? Now, you need a GoFundMe account just to afford a shoebox!.
• Headline: Global Debt Crisis: A Widespread Concern. Impact: The global debt crisis began a chain reaction that led to the invention of the 'emergency avocado toast,' a culinary masterpiece designed to sustain millennials through financial ruin.. Fact: Fun fact: The only cure for global debt might be a universal lottery win. Too bad that doesn't exist...yet!.
• Headline: Patti LuPone Shines in 'Shows for Days'. Impact: Patti LuPone’s performance inspired a new trend in theater: the 'Diva With Depth' genre, leading to countless auditions where aspiring actresses belt out show tunes while discussing their existential crises.. Fact: Did you know that theatergoers often prefer melodrama over reality? That's why they keep buying tickets instead of just reading the news!.
• Headline: The Hard Line on Greece. Impact: This standoff between Greece and the EU had a ripple effect that turned countless dinner conversations into heated debates about whether feta or hummus is the superior dip. Spoiler: it's feta.. Fact: Did you know the Greeks invented democracy? It seems they also invented the art of bluffing when it comes to financial negotiations!.
• Headline: Farm Waste and Animal Fats Will Help Power a United Jet. Impact: By using farm waste and animal fats for fuel, United Airlines began a movement that made 'chicken fat' a hipster buzzword in eco-friendly circles. Next up: candlelit dinners featuring 'locally sourced jet fuel.'. Fact: Fun fact: If you think your job stinks, just remember there are people turning animal fat into jet fuel. Now that's what I call a 'plane' situation!.