JUNE 2, 2015

Full News Archive

• Headline: Gun Violence Surge Challenges de Blasio Administration. Impact: The rise in gunplay led to a new trend where neighborhood watch groups became more like neighborhood 'watch your back' groups, paving the way for the rise of both vigilante justice and overly cautious pizza delivery drivers.. Fact: Gun violence statistics are often used in political debates, but let's not forget that they also inspired a hit TV show—'Cops'—because who doesn't love a little entertainment with their tragedy?.
• Headline: Insurers Guesswork Drives Rate Increases. Impact: Insurers using guesswork for rate increases could eventually lead to a world where insurance premiums are determined by a game of chance. Welcome to the Insurance Lottery! Who doesn't want to risk their life savings for a chance at low premiums?. Fact: Insurance companies have been using guesswork since the dawn of time—kind of like how your relatives guess your age at family gatherings..
• Headline: In Debate Over Patriot Act, Lawmakers Weigh Risks vs. Liberty. Impact: The debate over the Patriot Act could have led to a timeline where people started carrying around tinfoil hats as fashionable accessories, creating a booming market for conspiracy theory merch. Who knew paranoia could be so trendy?. Fact: The Patriot Act's name was probably coined by a committee of marketing geniuses because nothing says 'I value your privacy' like a law named after an abstract idea of patriotism..
• Headline: European Leaders Assemble for Urgent Meeting on Greek Crisis. Impact: The Greek crisis led to a series of financial bailouts that turned Europe into a game of Monopoly, where countries were just passing Go and collecting debt instead of money, resulting in the world's most expensive board game.. Fact: Alexis Tsipras might not have planned on becoming the poster child for financial chaos, but hey, at least he has a great story for his autobiography—'How I Survived the Eurozone Apocalypse.'.