MAY 20, 2015

Full News Archive

• Headline: David Letterman's Final Late-Night Countdown. Impact: The moment Letterman left, a rift in the space-time continuum opened, causing every future late-night host to awkwardly reference him in their monologues, forever linking their success to his legacy. Coincidentally, it also triggered an increase in coffee consumption during late-night hours.. Fact: Did you know that Letterman's beard has more late-night hosting experience than most of today's hosts combined? And it probably has better ratings too..
• Headline: Exploring Post-One-Night Stand Dynamics. Impact: This play about post-hookup awkwardness somehow inspired a generation of dating apps, leading to the modern phenomenon of swiping left on emotional connection. Bravo, LaBute, for making casual relationships even more complicated!. Fact: Fun fact: 'The Way We Get By' was originally titled 'The Way We Get Stuck in Awkward Conversations,' but that was deemed too on-the-nose..
• Headline: Dwayne Johnson, Star of ‘San Andreas,’ Is Solid. Solid as a .... Impact: After The Rock's performance, Hollywood realized that casting action stars in disaster films was a foolproof strategy. Little did they know, this would lead to an endless stream of sequels where he saves the world from everything, including a rogue toaster.. Fact: Did you know that Dwayne Johnson's muscles have their own social media accounts? They often post inspirational quotes about lifting heavy things and saving the world—what a flex!.
• Headline: Prosthetic Limbs, Controlled by Thought. Impact: The development of thought-controlled prosthetics sparked a new wave of telepathic jokes, leading to an entirely new category of 'I thought you were going to help me with that' in awkward social situations. Thanks, science!. Fact: Did you know that the first thought-controlled device was actually a really angry goldfish? It just wanted its bowl cleaned, but nobody was listening..