MAY 12, 2015

Full News Archive

• Headline: Investing in Unicorns: A New Trend. Impact: As investors threw their money at unicorns, a secret society of tech bros was formed, leading to the rise of the 'Brogrammer' culture in Silicon Valley, where coding and bro hugs became the norm. This eventually led to the invention of the 'bro-surance' app, which covers emotional damage from failed startups.. Fact: Did you know that actual unicorns have a better track record than most of these tech startups? At least they won't bankrupt you!.
• Headline: Saudi-U.S. Relations Marked by Dissonance. Impact: King Salman's absence sparked a chain reaction in diplomatic relations, leading to a new dance craze called the 'Saudi Shuffle' where diplomats awkwardly sidestep real issues, resulting in a global trend of avoiding uncomfortable conversations.. Fact: Fun fact: The last time a king skipped a meeting, it led to a centuries-long feud over misinterpreted snack choices!.
• Headline: Exploring ‘The Painted Rocks at Revolver Creek’. Impact: The play's poignant message sparked a global movement where artists began painting rocks, leading to an international competition for the most absurdly decorated boulder. This culminated in a reality show called 'Rock Your Art,' which was canceled after one season due to lack of interest.. Fact: Did you know that in South Africa, painting rocks is considered a sport? Just kidding, but it probably should be!.
• Headline: Push to End Prison Rapes Loses Earlier Momentum. Impact: The fading momentum of the push against prison rapes led to the rise of a new form of protest: 'Silent Sit-Ins' where activists would gather silently, making it very easy for politicians to ignore them. This eventually transformed into a successful ASMR podcast series titled 'Whispers of Injustice.'. Fact: Did you know that Congress can unanimously agree on something but still forget to care? It’s like a group of friends deciding where to eat but somehow ending up at the same boring chain restaurant..
• Headline: A.C.L.U., Citing Bias Against Women, Wants Inquiry Into Hollywood’s Hiring Practices. Impact: The A.C.L.U.'s inquiry request led to a domino effect, prompting Hollywood to hire a slew of female directors, which resulted in a surprising influx of films featuring strong female leads. Unfortunately, they were all still forced to wear high heels in every scene.. Fact: Fun fact: Hollywood's hiring practices have been so biased that even the Oscars considered changing the name to 'The Comfortably Male Awards'—but then they remembered it wouldn’t sell as many tickets..